AT MY AGE I SHOULD NOT REQUIRE ADULT SUPERVISION!

I clearly realize that I have been extremely negligent about staying "current" (OK, even close to "current") with my blog. No excuses but lots of reasons (better known as a "cop-out") all of which made perfect sense at the time. So, where is this going? Glad, you asked. I am growing to accept my timing issues, so I can't promise a month-long writing drought won't happen again but what I will always do is try to play catch-up. Besides, as we approach the end of golf season in many areas of the world, I get the idea that most of you Golf Nuts are out playing as much golf as you possibly can.

My intentions for this weekend we're pure. With my wife and the rest of my family off to celebrate my youngest daughter's birthday in California, I stayed behind to "get caught up." Quiet house, no one to distract me, just me and my thoughts and my keyboard...PERFECT...in theory. The only distraction left behind was a 4-pound Yorkie (Tessise The Wonder Dog) and my own Peter Pan Syndrome!

There have always been "rules" in our house. I made a lot of them. My wife, Pam, made a bunch of them. The one thing we usually do together is enforce them. Well, in about 5 hours, the time it will take for Pam to get back home from California, I will be in some hot water because I severely damaged a couple of basic, basic, elementary rules.

Rule 1 Subsection G - DO NOT, EVER, PLAY WITH OUTSIDE TOYS INSIDE THE HOUSE. Their are a variety of subsections to this rule to clearly define "Outside Toys." Even though I have a pretty strong attorney, I am confident that my practice session with my new 64 degree lob wedge is going to be considered a MAJOR Rule violation! Since I don't consider a "dent" to be extreme, I am hoping for some mercy. However, since I can't really answer the questions; "Why were you using real golf balls in the house?" and "Exactly what were you doing that could cause you to HIT THE OVEN FROM THE FAMILY ROOM!? (Honest, you just had to be here.) I am pretty sure I'm getting a pretty harsh penalty!

Rule 2005 Subsection S - SCISSORS, RAZORS, CLIPPERS, ETC ARE FOR ADULT USE ONLY. I have a feeling this Rule may become amended after the events of this weekend. Nope, don't go there, Tessie The Wonder Dog is unharmed, untouched and fully furred. The rule was instituted after my granddaughter decided to cut her own hair. It was quite a sight. There was some muffled laughter among the stern words and in the end, we had the scissors rule.

Guess who had a "moment" this weekend? Yep, it was me. I got my hair cut about a week ago and I've hated it worse than any other haircut. So, I decided to "fix" it. Here's a News Flash... I suck at cutting my own hair! The more I tried to fix my hair the worse it became. The longer I worked at it the worse it got. Adding insult to my own injury, I blew the GFI breaker (which probably saved me from shaving my head) a sign from above that I had done enough damage!

I'm guessing that it will take about two weeks before my hair grows back enough for a "professional" to fix. In the meantime I'll be wearing a lot of caps and listening to a lot of jokes, one big "I told you not to try that yourself" and maybe a new Rule requiring ME to be supervised by an adult whenever my wife leaves town!